Love Affair With Fiction

“All rise.”

The moment the words were spoken, my heart began to beat out of my chest, this was it. My first official court moment. Everything i’d studied and prepared for. I was so nervous. It wasn’t until Jenner strolled through the chamber door in a pressed black robe that I felt faint. Literally faint; my head swam.

No. No. No. No. This wasn’t happening. Jenner Weber? Judge Jenner Weber? The Honorable Jenner Weber? Dear God. Indiana Jones—virginity nabber.

“Thank you. You may be seated,” he announced and I sat or collapsed.

He hadn’t seen me yet. I watched waiting for his eyes to land on me.  My heart beat like the rattle of a snake. The folder he reviewed had to be the case we were here for.

“The court calls the case 17JC2091. May I have the appearances please?”

There it was. His eyes lifted to meet mine. A brief moment of hesitation. The last time his eyes were on me, his dick was inside of me. Ok…not quite, but close.

I stood, my knees trembling. “May it please the court, Lucy Edwards appearing for the State.”  I had no idea how those words came out.

His serious eyes shifted from me to the guardian ad litem with almost no appearance of recognition. It required effort to listen to her words. Then it was my turn again.

Jenner roughly cleared his throat. “Ms. Edwards, State’s position?”

Wobbly knees and all, I got to my feet again. “Yes, Your Honor. Um. Based off the state’s petition, we are requesting the newborn respondent be placed in the custody of the Department of Children and Families. Yesterday, the newborn tested positive for opiates and heroin, after delivery. The baby remains in the neonatal unit suffering from withdrawals. The mother, Heather Cook, admitted to using prior to going to the hospital to give birth. Clearly, Your Honor, the health, safety and welfare of this child are at risk. The State is requesting the child remain at the hospital in the temporary custody of the agency. Thank you.”

“Ms. Scheels?”

“Thank you, Judge. I concur with the state and would ask for a no-contact order with parents unless DCF can secure supervised visits at the hospital.”

Damn it. I should have thought of that. Jenner wrote something down and then his eyes moved to the parent’s attorney.

“Mr. Gibson?”

“Your Honor. Parents are not objecting to custody. However, they are opposed to supervised visits. They have not shown any indication of fleeing with the baby or any indication of putting the child at risk.”

I shot up out of my chair. “We object, Your Honor. They haven’t put the baby at risk? The mother used heroin prior to birth, drugging herself and her baby with a highly addictive drug. The baby is in the neonatal intensive care unit, Judge. The State would be opposed. If the parents can provide a negative urinalysis prior to the visit, then we would not be opposed.”

Jenner’s eyes bore into me, then quickly flitted back to the bench at the papers before him. As much as I should have been thinking about that baby, the only thing on my mind was the shock in my heart and the heat between my legs. So many things flashed through my mind. He knew my name. I knew his.

“Based on probable cause, the court is ruling in favor of the State. The child will immediately go into police-protective custody until DCF can get workers assigned. I’m ordering UA’s on the parents to begin prior to any supervised visit. This matter will be set for pre-trial on the next docket September 17. All parties are ordered to reappear. Is there anything further to come before the court at this time?”

“No, Your Honor,” I said softly, and all other parties stayed silent.

“Hearing nothing further, this matter is in recess,” Jenner gruffly spat out and stormed from the courtroom, file in hand.

“Wow, he seems even testier than normal,” Deb whispered.

Offering a nervous smile, I stacked my papers, not caring anymore about their organization. I’d organize and take notes of what happened when I returned to my office. When my brain could work again. I silently prayed my legs would get me there.

“Hey, Lucy. It wasn’t you. You did nothing wrong,” Deb said, sliding her file in her briefcase.

Oh my God. If she only knew. If she only knew?  If anyone knew! My breakfast from earlier churned in my stomach, threatening to come right back up.

“Lucy? You ok?”

“Yep. Just taking it all in. My first official court appearance.”

Free from the courtroom and finally in the hall, the air cooled my face as I walked.  My erratic breaths were starting to settle, but my brain synapses couldn’t keep up with the mile-a-minute activity snapping off. The second I got to my desk, I found my cell phone to see if there was something…anything… from Jenner. There wasn’t. Weber? So, he was related to Supreme Court Justice Weber… like United States Supreme Court Judge… Fuck me.

That night at home, I kept my phone by my side. Hoping. Waiting. Dreading. I started to text him fifteen times. I typed out long texts, shorts texts and finally, I settled for simple.

Jenner?